The Wedding Party

Weddings are about love, but they go beyond the love between you and your fiancé. Your wedding is also to show your love for your family and friends: by inviting them to share in your special day, and even selecting a few special ones to be active participants. Choosing your wedding party may seem like an easy task, but when you think of all the finances and feelings and time invested in being a part of your wedding, it may not be so easy.

Brothers, sisters, cousins, life-long friends, co-workers, roommates, and many other people have been involved in and shaped your life. Narrowing down that list is daunting, but the key is to remember that you can invite as many or as few as you would like. It’s important to keep in mind what type of wedding you are having. If you are having a very intimate affair, it’s not necessarily practical to have 10 bridesmaids. Budget aside, keep to this rule as a guide to how many people you have in your wedding party.

Photo by: Kevin Jairaj

Photo by Lynn Michelle Photography

Although bridesmaids and groomsmen are the most usual members of your wedding party, they are not the only options available to you. Let’s explore some of the others:

Personal attendants- if you decide to have any personal attendants, their role takes the shape of being your assistant. For the most part, they take off some of the pressure for your maid of honor. But more than that, you have someone dedicated to you explicitly for the day. They help carry and keep track of your belongings, help you into your dress and help you bustle it- they stand ready with lip gloss during photos. They make sure you eat and drink something during the day and are just there to ease the stress from you.

House Party/Hostesses- These ladies hand out programs, do the readings, hand out bubbles or flower petals and sometimes even assist with the gifts at the reception or cake cutting, depending on how formal your wedding is.
Ushers- These gentlemen help seat your guests. They can formally escort them or more casually direct them to the best seat. If you need to move chairs and/or tables, these are normally the best people to ask because they won’t be away taking pictures for very long.

Bride’s Man/Groom’s woman- Something we are seeing more frequently is to be more gender-free with your wedding party. If your brother or good friend has been important in your life, go ahead and ask them to stand up with you. The same goes for your groom. Generally, you would have a Bride’s man wear the same tux as groomsmen (possibly a different color) and you would have a Groom’s woman wear the same dress as your bridesmaids (possibly a different color).

Photo by: Daisy Photography

The possibility of having a large wedding party is always large. Be mindful however, of what costs these people are going to have to incur to be a part of your special day. Most will not say anything about their financial status, but be prepared if you are approached by someone with their limitations.

Tradition calls for the bride and groom to pay for any lodging for the wedding party and the bridesmaids and groomsmen to be responsible for their attire and transportation to the wedding (if they are from out of-town). Everyone is responsible for the other’s gifts.

The most important thing to remember when deciding on who you will ask to be in your wedding party, is to remember to surround yourself with love. Make sure you ask people who will show up, happily and will genuinely be grateful to share your special day. If you feel uncertain towards anyone, it’s usually better to reconsider, because you do not want one person to ruin the best day of your life.

True family and friends who have been there for you throughout your life will shower you with light and love. These are the people that you should have stand up with you to witness all the love that you have for your future spouse. They will help make your wedding day complete.