Tuesday, September 21, 2010

To have or not to have....kids at your wedding...

First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the bride pushing a baby carriage. This old teasing rhyme is used in schoolyard mocking all over the world. But when you’re planning your wedding, special thought is needed when dealing with the sensitive subject of inviting kids or not.
How do you determine whether or not children will be invited? Well first look to your personal preference as a couple. That could be an easy answer. However, you might want to consider how many of your friends and family have children- and how many of them would be forced to stay at home if they could not bring them with them. If there are not many, then you don’t need to worry either way. Also think about if you are having any children in your wedding party. Unless they are your own or a niece or nephew, think carefully about asking children to be in your bridal party. It wouldn’t look very good to parade them around at the ceremony and reception to the guests who couldn’t bring their children.

Let’s start off with your first step: invitations. If you are planning on not inviting children to your wedding, including the sentence: “Adult only reception” is considered bad etiquette. The proper way to invite guests to a wedding is including everyone’s name on the inner envelope. For example, if your cousin was a family of five and you were inviting children, the invitation would read:

Outside address envelope:
Mr. and Mrs. John Doe

Inside envelope:
Mr. and Mrs. Doe
Jenny, Joey and Julie


If you did not want to include their children, the envelopes would read:

Outside address envelope:
Mr. and Mrs. John Doe

Inside Envelope:
Mr. and Mrs. Doe


If you are inviting young adults over the age of 16, it is proper to issue them their own invitation. Make sure to include “…and guest” if you are okay with them inviting a date.

Of course, not everyone knows this etiquette rule and will RSVP with their whole family listed. The next part is a very tricky situation. If you truly do not want kids at the reception, then you have to be okay with the parents possibly not attending if you tell them they can’t bring their kids. The best way to handle this situation is to call the parents and tactfully and carefully tell them that children were not invited.

Since that is such a sensitive matter, it is best to gauge your reaction on a case by case basis.

If you have decided that you would like to have children at your wedding, there are many different ways to ensure that they are enjoying themselves.

The first is to designate a ‘kids’ table or tables, depending on how many you have attending. Be careful when separating them out, because you don’t want all young kids with young kids, but you want to be mindful of placing the teenagers at the ‘kids’ table. You can decorate this table differently with fun things for them to do: coloring books, games, bubbles, play dough, etc. Just make sure that you have NO candles- that could be dangerous. We would also encourage you to place this table far away from the bar and doors in and out of the kitchen. Placing them next to the cakes might also be too much temptation. If you have a great foyer or area that you can place balloon artists or character drawing artists, those are great additions to your reception that normally are budget friendly and will keep the kids entertained.




Another way to prepare for children at your wedding is to have a separate kid-friendly menu. Macaroni and cheese, chicken nuggets, French fries or pizza are huge hits with the younger crowd. Your caterer or venue should have no problem accommodating this since you will be able to give them a final count.

Our last, and almost best, piece of advice is look into hiring a nanny service. This is especially helpful if you will have a lot of kids. Nanny services for weddings are very popular and they have CPR certifications and a whole arsenal of techniques and games for keeping children occupied. They also provide a reprieve from parents to just enjoy the evening. Our favorite in the DFW area is Mom’s Best Friend- www.mbfagency.com

Whether or not kids are in your future, the question of inviting them to your wedding is entirely up to you. But we have prepared you with the proper techniques and ideas to enjoy your evening and to make sure that your guests enjoy theirs, regardless of who attends!

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