Dress Regret

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Today we are going to take on a touchy subject, one that many brides have experienced and confessed over cocktails or lattes with close friends and family in intimate situations prior to the big day. It's called dress regret. 

What is it?

Dress regret, if you are not familiar, is when a bride purchases a gown and then begins to rethink her decision as the big day draws closer. You can witness dress regret on any given episode of Say Yes to the Dress. From the outside looking in, it's an anomaly, really. We recently interviewed a few brides-to-be that have first-hand experience with dress regret in order to obtain an insider's perspective. 

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After months of research, multiple trips to boutiques, and unending feedback from trusted friends, Allison found herself waffling back and forth between two dresses dangerously close to her wedding day (five months away, to be exact). One dress was fun and whimsical, the other was classic and elegant. Each dress appealed to a different side of Allison's dynamic personality, which allowed for a perfect predicament. Since the classic and elegant gown was less expensive than the fun and whimsical one, Allison allowed her practical nature to be the tie-breaker. She eventually went with the more affordable choice and rush-ordered a gorgeous Pronovias gown just in time. We wish that that was the end of the story, but painfully, it's not. Although one dress was on the way, the thought of the other one, the one that got away, haunted her. Even though her friends and family sweetly reassured her, the subtle doubt inside of her mind was rapidly spiraling into regret. It was not until she voiced her worries to her brother that her insecurities disappeared. His words were a soothing anecdote for her internal angst, and they are true for every bride. He simply reminded her that "the dress does not wear you, you wear the dress. The dress does not make you beautiful, you make the dress beautiful." We love this wonderful brother and his timeless message for all women.

Another story of dress regret comes from our lovely friend, Emily. Unlike Allison, she found her gown at the very first boutique she visited. Echoing Allison's predicament above, Emily was torn between two lovely dresses. Both were visions of satin and lace; each hugged and flowed from her body in all of the right places. To say that they were flattering is an understatement. As her entourage of supporters made their opinions heard, Emily made her choice. The Monique Lhuillier dream brought joyful tears to the soon-to-be bride's eyes as she "just knew" it was the one. The whole room mistily agreed. Fast forward to one month before the wedding when Emily is planning a return to the boutique for her fifth fitting. This time her sister will accompany her as she has recently become overwhelmed with doubt about her choice. As she explains her sudden distress to a small group of friends in a room full of wedding-shower attendees, her panic is met with wide eyes and dropped jaws in response. Thankfully Emily realized that what she was feeling wasn't truly about the dress at all, but more so her need to create a flawless, immortal moment in time. And that is a lot of pressure to carry on two shoulders and one heart.

How to avoid it?

Do your research. Begin online and in magazines, as all women do, but further your efforts by narrowing your search down to a few designers and styles that you're especially attracted to. Then contact boutiques in your area to ask if they carry your preferred designers or styles (or a specific gown). If you are considered a plus-sized bride, you may want to inquire about whether or not plus-sized samples are available. 

Surround yourself with sincere friends and family. Take only your core people with you; the ones that have your best interest at heart. They will help guide you through difficult choices.

A little bubbly takes the edge off, but don't overdo it. It is definitely time to celebrate, and we are huge fans of clinking glasses, but keep it light in order to maintain a clear head prior to purchasing anything major.

Not everyone has that "I just know" feeling. So don't feel bad if it doesn't happen for you. It's ok if you don't feel an emotional bond to your gown. It is just a gown.

Personalize your style with an all-pro seamstress. Make the dress your own through amazing alterations. It is unreal what those wizards can do. 

Finally, remember that you wear the dress, so don't let it wear on you. You are what makes your dress exceptional, so keep that in mind if you begin to feel the pangs of buyers remorse.