You’ve Got Your Fiance, Now Get Your Groom!

Society, (and many men), thinks that a boyfriend’s only role in a wedding is done before planning even begins. All he has to do is ask that question and he’s free! Sadly, in many cases, this is a true story. Fiances are often completely absent from the planning process, whether from lack of interest, or from the level of control of the bride. But many girls find themselves overwhelmed with the myriad of appointments, details and decisions, and simply want some help. Brides usually want their fiance's opinion over the intricacies of planning a wedding, they just don’t know how to get involved.

Photo Credit: Ben Godkin Photo

There are several ways to make sure your future husband is included in the biggest day of your lives, other than waiting at the alter. When you are ready to get serious about planning your wedding, sit down alone with your fiancé and have a discussion over the theme, style and major important points of the wedding. And listen rather than tell him what your visions are. Letting him voice his opinion and taking a genuine interest in what he has to say will allow him to be more respectful of you when you stand firm on certain issues.

Instead of consulting him on every issue, or feeling like you need his approval for every decision, give him a few easy tasks. Most guys are concerned about the music and the food. Have him search out several bands or djs in your style and price range and go to the meetings together. Invite him to the food tastings and don’t make fun of him if he wants a nacho bar at your black tie affair. Having personal touches will make your wedding more intimate, and your guests will love having parts of your personalities inserted into your wedding.

Photo credit: Kevin Jairaj, KJ Images

If you as a couple are paying for the wedding yourselves, you need to be extra sensitive when soliciting his opinion. Going crazy and not consulting him about anything will only cause resentment and frustration, two things you do not want anywhere near your wedding day.

The most important lesson to remember as you are planning your wedding is to allow your fiancé to be more involved if he wants to be. If he makes the effort to be a part of this process, show that you are glad he cares and take him up on his offer to help.

Sometimes, the road to marriage can be long and full of difficult obstacles. Why choose the same path for planning your wedding? You are only human, and you can only do so much. Ask for help when you need it. Don’t be afraid to give your fiancé responsibilities or to lean on him for support. You will face much more trying times together, and what a better way of testing him out?

Photo credit: Kevin Jairaj, KJ Images